Insanely Funny Insults and Comebacks (120+ Best Insults for 2022)
Want the best insults that will make your friends laugh? These funny insults can get used in any type of setting. When you're wanting a funny and witty comeback. Or when you want to bring a little fire to the conversation with your friends.
Where can I use these funny insults?
Use them when playing call of duty, when talking with friends, when you get insulted and want a good comeback, or when you need a good laugh.
It's best to insult friends that you're close with. Others who you already have a good relationship with. It's not fun to hurt other people's feelings just for fun.
You know my dog has better breath than you, right?
This would be a really smart comment, if my IQ was in single digits.
Accidents happen, just ask your parents.
I think Albert Einstein would be disappointed with where we've come to.
I wonder if they wanted to kick you off the family tree.
Does your birth certificate have a paint chip on it?
I bet your parents wrote the condom factory about the mistake.
You should really write an apology letter to human kind.
I would respond with an insult, but you'd have to comprehend it first.
Your parents must have really been happily married before you were born.
If aliens came to earth, they would absolutely make you the human version of fecal matter.
It's interesting that you think you used tooth paste this morning.
You smell like hot dog water, is that your cologne or perfume?
How many times do you think your mom dropped you? One? Two? Three?
If you put all the stupid people in the world into one room, I think you'd be lost at sea.
The middle finger should be your parents motto for life.
You should have been born on a highway, that's where most accidents happen.
They say laughter is the best medicine, that's probably why we look at you all the time.
You may be the literal definition of what period cramps feel like.
People probably say you're a gray sprinkle on a rainbow cupcake, right?
Do you think that God said "whoops" after they made you?
I wonder if you make the dog jealous.
Did your mouth just take a bath in crap?
I wonder if when women talk about their worst first date, they pull up a picture of you.
I wonder if even your pretend friend would want to ditch you.
How many imaginary friends did you have growing up?
When did you finally decide that you wanted to get a job where people can't see you?
You have a face for radio.
Best Comebacks to Insults
This would really hurt if I understood stupidity.
I don't really get insulted by ugly people.
I don't speak fool.
I've already forgot what you just said to me.
That's really cool and I hope that you are calling your mom to tell her these stories.
I'm glad that you finally got a good insult in, it's about time.
Do you feel foolish right now? For having said something smart for the first time.
Whatever you just said sounds like you're describing your mom.
It's really hard to hear you around all that bad breath.
Apparently you think you're funny, which is funny because I laugh whenever I see you.
Best Insults for Friends
It would be a real treat for me it you would say something intelligent for once.
Can we call your mother and ask what type of mushroom she took before having you?
Related: Funny Insults
I wonder if your mother decided to stop having children after seeing you.
Words don't really hurt me, but your breath is.
Did kids ever pick on you in school?
I wouldn't speak, one blow of that bad breath and I think you could start World War III.
It's weird, I see an adult, but I hear a child talking.
When I use the word idiot, it's funny, everyone thinks I'm talking about you.
Do you think that we should study how small your brain is?
If you were a food, I think you would be barf.
You know what's really dumb? This conversation.
Is it wrong that whenever I see you, I immediately want to be blind?
If you were a food, I would rather eat boogers.
It's super interesting to hear you speak, I thought babies couldn't talk.
They should probably sew your ass to your face to make you look better.
Savage Insults - Best Insults of All Time
We can end the search for the world's dumbest person.
Wait, you know how to speak? I really didn't think that infants could talk.
If you were a construction site, you'd be the portable potty.
Do you think that every woman wants to use you as an example of what not to do?
It's interesting that you call that a hair cut.
I would love to add this conversation to my collection of most unimportant things in my life.
Do you think this conversation is a sign that we should stop being friends?
It would be really cool if you could stop talking, that breath is going to make me pass out.
Do you smell that? Oh, it's just you.
Related: Good Roasts - Make them cry with these
I realize that this conversation sounds intelligent to you. To me, I hear noise.
Do you think that if aliens came down to earth they would use you as a tool to get other humans to run away from them?
You seem to be proof that God has a sense of humor.
You couldn't find water if you fell out of a boat.
I bet you think paint chips are made for eating.
Do you ever randomly look in the mirror and have the mirror scream back at you?
I bet your phone preferences say, "Please stop touching me."
Your face looks like a Picasso painting.
I would truly love to stay in this conversation but it's exhausting me.
Our favorite resources are included below.
Job interview resources
- Common Interview Questions by Marquette University
- Prepare for Behavioral Interview Questions by Marquette University
- Preparing for Job Interviews by the University of Kansas
- Mock Interview Handbook by CSUCI
- Interview Guidebook by Lebanon Valley College
Resume and cover letter resources
- Writing a Resume and Cover Letter by USC
- Resume Writing Tips by the University of Wisconsin-Madison
- Resume and Cover Letter Guide by Harvard University
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