Orphan Jokes (100+ Dark Yet Funny for 2023)

Looking for orphan jokes that might make you cringe? If dark humor is what you crave - these jokes would satisfy you to the fullest!

Orphans: Don't they make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside? I mean, who can resist a kid who's lost both his parents? Then has to go live in a malodorous orphanage because he has nowhere else to go. Not I, that's for certain. That's why I enjoy good orphan jokes.

Here's a list of 45 hilarious orphan jokes. They're sure to make you chuckle. And if you don't, I'm sure there's a home for you at the orphanage. Enjoy!

Best funny orphan jokes to tell (dark humor)

I created a website for orphans.

Answer: Sadly, it is still without a home page.

Why is it not a problem to hit an orphan?

Answer: They can't inform their parents anyway!

Why did the orphan visit the church?

Answer: He thought his 'Father" was waiting for him there!

Why is it that orphans love Frisbees so much?

Answer: Because they return eventually.

How many orphans does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Answer: One to screw it in, and 99 to ask "Are you, my mother?"

Why did the idiot orphan eat his homework?

Answer: Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!

Why is it that orphans leave the house so often?

Answer: They're trying to find someone to watch the other orphans.

How did the orphan become so successful at cricket?

Answer: Everyone told him "go big or go home", he had only one choice.

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Judge: You have been sentenced for killing your parents!

Accused: Kindly give me a softer punishment, your honor.

Judge: Why would I do that?

Accused: I’m an orphan.

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Being an orphan isn’t that bad. The silver lining is that all your treats will be family-sized.

What did one orphan tell his sidekick orphan?

Answer: Get in the Bat-mobile, Nightwing.

Why is it that orphans commit so many crimes?

Answer: To feel "Wanted"

Why is it that orphans do not enjoy Electronic Dance Music?

Answer: Orphans have no idea what "House" music is.

What is an orphan’s most hated song?

Answer: 'Keep the Family Close' by Drake.

What is an orphan’s most hated TV show?

Answer: F is for Family

What is an orphan’s most hated movie?

Answer: The Family Holiday

What’s an orphan’s most loved music band?

Answer: Sly and the Family Stone

What is an orphan's favorite beer brand?

Answer: Foster's

Why is it that orphans always mix water with cereal?

Answer: Because their father did not return home with milk.

What’s the key difference between an orphan and a mango?

Answer: Mangoes get picked.

What’s the benefit of being an orphan?

Answer: Nobody makes jokes about your parents!

What's another benefit of being an orphan?

Answer: You won't have to do any homework.

Why is it that orphans are so bad at baseball?

Answer: They have no idea where home is.

Why did the orphan buy an iPhone X?

Answer: The phone doesn't have a home button.

Why can't orphans partake in school excursions?

Answer: They cannot obtain the signature of their parents.

What’s the difference between Charizard and an orphan?

Answer: Charizard, I choose you!!!

A blind kid asks an orphan-

Answer: "What is one similarity we share between us?"

The orphan replies-

"Neither of us can see our parents"

Why did the orphan fail the "Ancient Egypt History" test?

Answer: He had no idea what a mummy is.

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Teacher: I was an orphan as a child.

Students: Sorry to hear that Sir.

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Teacher: Is anyone absent?

Students: Your parents sure are!

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Which is the least favorite day of an orphan?

Answer: Mother's Day

Why can’t an orphan work as an IT support specialist?

Answer: Because they don't know about the motherboard.

How do you make an orphan's legs swell up?

Answer: Tell him to keep walking up & down the stairs until his parents return home.

Why can orphans keep traveling here & there?

Answer: They seldom get homesick

Why did the orphan decide to get into hookin'?

Answer: She wanted to be with a sugar daddy

Why does the orphan feel lucky in Gotham City?

Answer: There is a high chance that Batman will make him his sidekick someday!

What's the other word for an orphan's family photo?

Answer: A selfie

What is an orphan's favorite video game?

Answer: Family Simulator (The Sims)

Which movie genre does an orphan hate the most?

Answer: Family drama

Why did the orphan not buy any gift from the shop?

Answer: They were selling gifts on account of Father's Day.

Why was the orphan kicked out of the doctor's chamber?

Answer: He was a family doctor

What biscuit has an orphan never tasted?

Answer: Homemade biscuit

What differentiates a criminal from an orphan?

Answer: Only the criminal is wanted

Why was the orphan not allowed to contest in the TV show?

Answer: The name of the show was - Family Feud

How do you detect a lying orphan?

Answer: When they swear on their mother’s life

Why is it that orphans always refuse to play hide and seek?

Answer: They realize nobody will search for them

How to tell a good joke

Here's how to tell a good joke.

Look for good timing

Timing is everything. Don't try to interrupt a conversation. Or speak too loudly to a group of people. Look for a quiet time when the mood needs a laugh.

Pick a unique joke

A joke that everyone has already heard before isn't going to make an impact. Instead, look for a joke that will bring a smile to someone's face because they haven't heard it before.

Don't take it too seriously

Telling a joke is a great way to break the ice. Use it for a first date, for making new connections, or when meeting new people/colleagues. Don't take it too seriously. It will make it more challenging to deliver the joke with a strong impact.